Individual Counseling for Men

Men usually have to be DRAGGED in to see a counselor.

It’s usually a couples counselor – usually after someone has either revealed an affair or declared an intention to leave the marriage.

Sometimes the man doesn’t even have that to go on, so he’s confused and irritated as to why whatever is upsetting his wife needs to be adjudicated by an outsider.

This is a cliché, and it’s not productive. But one of the reasons that it persists is very simple…

Men, especially as they grow older, don’t talk about what is bothering them.

Some, if not all men, do try. It’s not as though they fail because they are mere lumbering apes who know little more than how to drink beer and hide in the garage from the children.

They fail because most counselors are either too young or too committed to applying a disease label (depressed, toxic, addict, alcoholic, Cro-Magnon) to give a frustrated man the space and safety to reveal his actual viewpoint.

This isn’t a political opinion, and it’s not one based on notions of 1950s families or about protecting male privilege. It’s based on the fact that if you look at the data in the annals of counseling research, men simply don’t provide the feedback that researchers might use, and it only gets worse as men age.

But it doesn’t have to be that way.

I work with men.

I help men who are confronting wildly changing expectations in their careers, marriages, and health to experience clarity and drive. This is done by showing them how to use their existing strengths to overcome toxicity, resentment, and substance abuse.

An important part of that work is understanding what a man is, what he wishes to become, and what he believes he should have become by now in his life. And in an age where social media cultivate the illusion that everyone is a finished product as they are right now, the idea that a man is supposed to make mistakes on his way to mastery has been almost abandoned.

The suffering of the silent man…

It’s really due to lack of effort trying to get men to show their sensitive side… or even toxic masculinity.

Mostly it’s because (in this moment more than most) the avenues available for men to be sincerely and beautifully imperfect are being systematically shut down.

Men need a place to come to their own understanding of their anxieties, their insomnia, and their partners… and why it’s possible to feel too damn tired to be depressed.

I work with men. Let me help…

… help them discover what is actually going on when they can’t seem to take solace in any of their successes.

… help them identify why the pressure on them to conceal their weaknesses isn’t coming from other men.

… help them use new insight to grow.

Give me a call and let’s talk. I might be of service to you: (210) 920-1572